i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
