I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
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