i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
