if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
