WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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