Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Randomize
