Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
