I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
