i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone says I win the strip club
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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