I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
