Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
