Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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