I just made out with a guy for $7.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
