He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
