so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
