Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
You work out of a Hotel?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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