I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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