she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
