We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
