I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize