we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I have demons in me.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
