last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
