my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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