So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
