mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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