I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
