Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
