Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize