I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
