Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
