question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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