Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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