remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
