i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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