they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
