made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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