can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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