Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
