She's JV to your varsity
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
