ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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