Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
