I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
