Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
