she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
