Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
