Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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