I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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