I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
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