wat bout pragnant strippers??
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
