If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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