Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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