Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Randomize
