His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
