New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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