It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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