I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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