Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
