I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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