He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
