im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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