I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
there is glitter all over my balls
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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