It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
