Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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