I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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