hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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