I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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