you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
